capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
