You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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