Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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