can u get pink eye on your cock?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
