Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
