Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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