We need to rekindle our bromance
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
only you would photoshop your dick
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
