Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
