OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You're like the curious george of whores
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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