So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
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In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
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Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
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