i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
