My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
