Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She announced her abortion via fbk
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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