She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize