You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
