69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
