Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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