I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
