let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
