i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
