ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You've changed since you got that strap on
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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