that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
