Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
