Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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