i barfeds in our rink
love makes seman taste better
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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