you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
