I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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