is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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