eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
