it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
