I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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