I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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