is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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