my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
