I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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