Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
