help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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