i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
