I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
