I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
