i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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