Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
