Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
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I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
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I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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