bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We left an ass print on the piano.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My dick has a subreddit
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
