wake up i wanna do it froggy style
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
