she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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