I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my being single is dangerous.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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