He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
