I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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