I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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