Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
