oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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