I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
