I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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