yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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