If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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