It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize