i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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