Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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