You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
