Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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