I smell stomach acid.
she smelled like a LAN party
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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