Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
