Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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