1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
