mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
